Week 1 – When Abandonment Changed Everything It all started when my father left. He was my world—my first love, my first example of what love was supposed to feel like. To me, he was safety. He was comfort. He was the person who made me feel seen. So when he left, it didn’t just feel like losing a parent—it felt like losing a part of myself. I didn’t understand how someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally could just walk away. As a child, you don’t process abandonment logically—you take it personally. I started to believe that maybe I wasn’t enough. Maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t worth staying for. That kind of pain changes you. I carried questions in my heart that never had answers. Why did he leave? Why didn’t he choose me? Why wasn’t I worth fighting for? Those thoughts became heavy, and the silence he left behind was louder than anything. The emptiness he created inside of me became a space I didn’t know how to fill. And that’s when my relationship with food changed. Food became my comfort when I felt unwanted. It became my companion when I felt alone. It became the love I thought I was missing. When my heart hurt, I ate. When I felt rejected, I ate. When I felt invisible, I ate. Food never left me. Food never abandoned me. Food was always there when people weren’t. But what I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t feeding hunger—I was trying to soothe a broken heart. Every bite was an attempt to silence the pain. Every meal was a temporary escape from feelings I didn’t have the words to express. I was trying to fill an emotional void with something physical, hoping it would make the emptiness go away. Instead, the pain just settled deeper inside me. Over time, the weight I gained wasn’t just on my body—it was the weight of rejection, abandonment, confusion, and unhealed wounds. I built layers not just to protect myself physically, but emotionally. My body became a reflection of everything I was carrying inside. I realize now that my weight gain was never about lack of discipline. It was about unresolved pain. It was about a little girl who felt abandoned and didn’t know how to cope. It was about searching for comfort in the only place she knew how. For years, I lived with that broken version of myself—the girl who questioned her worth, who feared being left, who tried to fill emotional emptiness with temporary comfort. But healing begins when you start noticing the patterns. I began journaling, praying, and leaning on people I trusted to talk through my feelings. I started learning that the emptiness I felt could be faced, not filled. I discovered that even small acts—like writing my truth, taking a mindful breath, or simply acknowledging my feelings—could begin to soothe the little girl inside me. My weight loss journey is deeper than losing pounds. It’s about healing abandonment. It’s about confronting the pain I buried for years. It’s about learning that someone leaving was never a reflection of my value. This journey is about healing the little girl who felt forgotten. It’s about choosing myself in the ways I always wished someone else would. It’s about turning pain into purpose. Because my story didn’t start with weight gain—it started with heartbreak, and now it continues with healing. Scripture: Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" Reflection Question: Have you ever tried to fill an emotional wound with something temporary instead of facing the pain? What small step can you take today to comfort, nurture, or acknowledge yourself in a way that brings true healing?